Merry Christmas from Agen

Hello Everyone!!!!

This will be my last blog in Agen for awhile. I’m leaving this Friday evening to arrive in Paris late in the evening to find my hotel and spend two full days until flying out on Monday, YEAH!!!!!! I’m so looking forward to getting home for awhile before our session starts again January 5th.

I have some great things to share with you. I've been contacted by two magazines wanting to do articles on my experiences and/or blog here and am so thankful for these opportunities. Both of these will be coming out soon. One is local in the City of Greenville and the other one is international. I'm so excited to be a part of this with them.

I cannot finish this module without telling you about the new student we had join us three weeks ago. His name is Michel and don’t even ask me how to spell his last name LOL. He’s of Spanish origin and was very shy the first week, but man, did he ever come out of his shell after the first week LOL.

He’s a lot of fun and is constantly playing around and acting like he’s tripping himself and making jokes, all of which, we have to hand motion to each other or get translation to understand them all.

He spent time with us and found out how much fun we all have, and yet, how serious we all are about our art and what we are doing and he fit in perfectly with this class. You’ll see a picture of Michel in the Picasa web album. He’s a very nice guy who is a sweetheart. I speak to him in Spanish, English and try some French. He speaks French most of the time in his every day life and lives in Toulouse with his wife, where Brigette lives. Son just graduated college with an engineering degree. Congrats!!!!

We have been working intensely on the panel you’ll see on the web album. The” ripped paper panel”. Talk about details!!!!! We spent a lot of time just working on putting the little fuzzies created by string. Please notice the name tag, the transparent tape holding the paper together if you can see them on the picture on the web album. You’ll laugh, this morning we varnished this piece for safe keeping to travel home with them this weekend and as I was applying the varnish, I freaked out when I went over the tape, thinking I’d ruin it. Then, I realized, it wasn’t real, I painted it on. That’s real trompe l’oeil, when I can fool myself LOL.

We are finishing up two more panels this week, one of which is the green ornate molding one you see in the web album. We are putting a very ornate "Grotesque" period ornamentation on this piece and it's going to be even more beautiful. I'm so thankful Michel is challenging us the way he is and yet, loving, looking over our shoulders watching as only he can.

I’m going to get serious for just a moment and tell you that being here for all this time, 12 weeks, to be exact. Has been sobering, enlightening, frightening, wonderful, beautiful, painful, excruciating at times, such a great experience and loving on so many levels. The friends I’ve made while here with the other students and loving Michel and Kyoko the way I do and having time with them, is one of the great benefits.

The ways I’ve personally grown in my relationships with those closest to me is one of THE most rewarding things about being here. You find out who matters and what your priorities are when you are in a position like this.

I’ve also found out about me personally and when you are away from everything you are comfortable with, don’t have the same diversions you do in your daily life and are alone, living in a country you can’t speak their language, there’s mostly you, especially at night and on the weekends to spend time with.

Having said this, seeing the “real” you, the insecurities, the fears, the things you feel deep down about life, about yourself, about others, comes forward and it’s a “bear”, let me tell you. You have to face yourself and decide how much of you will be hindered by your insecurities and how much of you will not be forced to live this way anymore.

I can say, after thinking about these things and deciding to face my fears while here and moving forward and deciding to grow, that I’m so thankful for this experience and ALL that it entails. It stretches you like a piece of canvas and you feel you are being stretched and pulled on all sides. You can’t help but either crawl into a hole and hide, or you come out and face everything and challenge those things that can hold you back in your own life and your own personal growth.

If there were one thing I could give to you, it would be this gift itself, to know you. To know what you fear, what makes you laugh, what makes you cry, what you want and don’t want. To feel, to need, to sacrifice, to watch the love and feel it from others at a much deeper level than you can imagine because of your heart’s desires and needs. It’s all so beautiful!!!!!

That's the one thing about finding art in my life that is fascinating. You never get it, you always feel some fear when starting a project, and yet, you just go and do. I love the fact that I cannot conquer this and that it will be a lifetime of learning!! I love learning and growing.

BLESS you all for touching me so much and I am so grateful to so many of you who have truly walked in this place with me. You know who you are, I’ve told you. What you have done for me and how you have changed me by your presence in my life is astounding and I’m so thankful for you!!!!!! So, in your own ways, you have been partaking of this personally with me on this journey. You have been here with me in France.

I’ll try to write while in Paris, this weekend before I leave, but if I miss you, please know you are loved in France, that you are in my thoughts and prayers and that I’m longing for your physical presence in my life.

Thank you again, to my dearest friend and love, Tom. Honey, you are, like I said in an E-mail this morning one in ten million. Your sacrifice, love, respect, gentleness, support, kindness and unselfishness in all of this have been the biggest gifts of all!!!!! Thank you for sharing this life with me and believing in me!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS from Tammy Goben!!!!!